Tentang Kawin-Mawin

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Sebuah percakapan Minggu siang nggak penting melalui media instant messenger:

Perempuan: Bang, weekend ngapain onlen? Lu kan punya pacar. Pacaran dunk! Jalan-jalan kek, ngapain kek
Laki-laki: Pacaran kan tinggal ngamar aja
Perempuan: Gitu? Emang beda ya gaya pacarannya orang 30sumthing sama anak 20sumthing
Laki-laki: Ya iya lah!
Perempuan: Jadi, minggu ini si kakak ga dapet setoran sperma?
Laki-laki: Oh, itu sih udah tiap hari
Perempuan: Lha tuz buat apa kawin? Macem guguk ngencingin pohon tempat dia biasa berjamban, ya? Nandain teritorial kalo kakak milik lo, bukan milik lelaki laen?
Laki-laki: Karena cuma dengan kawin maka janji gwa ke dia bisa terwujud. Gue pengen bareng dia seumur hidup. Gue ga bisa janjiin apa-apa ke dia selama gwa belum kawinin dia
Perempuan: Lha? Lu janji aja sendiri ke si kakak kalo lo bakal seumur idup ama dia dan bakal jadi laki-laki Batak yang bertanggungjawab dengan cara provide apapun kebutuhannya. Daripada lo ngabisin duit buat acara adat dan pemberkatan di gereja, mending buat beli rumah ato ganti mobil. Nggak praktis deh lu
Laki-laki: Beda. I've got to make my promise to God and I keep my words
Perempuan: Things will be easier when U exclude God from whatever U do. U did it most of the time, didn't U?
Laki-laki: Yes, I know. Tapi gue tau suatu hari nanti gue bakal dateng ke dia
Perempuan: So... it's like U're pulled between consciousness and self-determination and U're waiting who's gonna win?
Laki-laki: Yups
Perempuan: Still, by icip-icip kakak dan spurting your seeds to her womb-a procreation activity that should've be done when U already marry-is like enjoying a mortal's mistake, knowing that U would be forgiven anytime. I sense somewhat self-righteousness, self-centered and a shitty justification in it. On daily basis. Sux! CMIIW, but I dun think that expresses a man who always keep his words
Laki-laki: I know. Alcohol and girls are always my sins, but I've got to make peace with God. I promise Him something and I've got to keep my promises since I've known by my friends as a trustworthy person when it comes to promise, though not to Him
Perempuan: Well, lemme tell u sumthing: God doesn't need U and your fuckin' promises. As far as I'm concern, He owns this fuckin' universe by Himself, with U in it. So, why bother? U're not that important. U're just an itsy-bitsy, tiny-weenie grain in the sand of a beach. U rammed her hard, though, n no consciousness on God when U've got a hard-rock, full metal-jacket boner groping her tits
Laki-laki: =))
Perempuan: Ini seperti Sisifus yang bersusahpayah mendorong batu besar ke atas gunung untuk kemudian digelindingkan lagi ke bawah, yang lalu dia bawa lagi ke atas. Begitu terus. Seumur hidup. Stupid!
Laki-laki: I said I'll come to Him. I didn't say He'll accept me
Perempuan: OK. Case closed. U successfully shut my mouth. That's too private. Personal stupidity, IMHO
Laki-laki: Haha. U could say so
Laki-laki: Lagian... Lu kenapa sih? Kayaknya ngotot banget hari ini...
Perempuan: Gpp. It's just everybody's leaving me to build their own-hopefully-keluarga sakinah mawaddah warahmah umbah-umbah asah-asah. Dat's supersux. Dun get me wrong, I still happy for them and for U. But still... )=
Laki-laki: Your time will come, dear. Your time will come
Perempuan: NO! It's not like that. I need my friends more than I need a man in my bed. I've got a fat carrot with me. Haha. There are friends and there are friends. Not plenty left that understand me well enuff and I try to hold on them. And they're leaving me for their wives. Yet, I dun want 1 of them to be my husband eventually, as well. If U give me a husband, it's like U're giving a bicycle to a fish
Laki-laki: So why the sour tone in the voice?
Perempuan: It's their overmouthed bitches (or wives-to-be in proper words) that will constantly throw jealous look at my face. You and the other future husbands will be different when all of U take the vows and have to live under the same roof with your wifey. I bet my armpit hair on it
Laki-laki: You know what? Though we never met face-to-face, Kris-one of those so-called bitches in Ur term-is jealous of U cuz U always brightened my day
Perempuan: Why?
Laki-laki: Cuz she knows I always like smart girls
Perempuan: Well, U tell kakak dat I aint smart at all. I'm screwed in the head. Smart and screwed in the head are almost the same in words but totally different in reality. Yet, they share similarity also in the end: loneliness. We can't compete with girls who have great hair, flawless make up and amazing bodies
Laki-laki: But she's jealous to any girls, after all
Laki-laki: Cuz I like girls with big boobs, or big butt, and never complain on the small ones either in both departments
Perempuan: Yea rite. Narrow the category: U like any two-legged living things with warm, wet hole
Perempuan: >:P
Laki-laki: Haha
Laki-laki: Still...
Perempuan: What?
Laki-laki: Your time will come, dear
Laki-laki: =)
Perempuan: Argh! SHIT!

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