Another Fake Orgasm

And that is this fuckin' blog thingy is all about. I'm doing nothing but satisfying my crave of attention. I'm through playing wannabe martyr. I'm done being fallen, unrecognized heroine. My time has come to retire from a miserable drama queen. For all of the unfortunates who are not blessed by fluent English, I'm saying this out loud: Saya selesai sampai disini. Entah sampai kapan.

I'm not impersonating that guy in wordpress that fetched various statements from those who despised him and he tired of them. My visitors are mostly nice people and I would kill to be that popular. Don't put too much honors to yourself. No, it's not because of all the godamned fuckin' irrelevant comments. It's not because of how you put your stupid values upon me either. It's just somehow I feel enough. I'm finished with my broadcasted, no good, ridiculous state of minds that I blatantly pushed before your very silly faces and shoved up to your brain and feel like I already save the world. I've been living in illusion of such level you could involuntarily feel pity to my sorry ass. I've got my own truly stupid reasons that I consider to keep only to myself. It's been one hell of two years that I fake my orgasms here, with a few real ones along the way. And yes, it's because of my incapabilities to cope with the ugly, ill-fated surrounding that becomes one of the ingredients among numerous motives I've got in mind.

As a human, I failed. As a woman, I too failed. And even as a creature, I'm nothing but a big zero. And what was I doing in the process? Putting flowery words that stink? Letting the world know how pathetic I am? Proud of becoming one tough bitch that could happily provoke any storm and ride the eye of it? Trying to apologize by blurting shitloads here? You damn right I am! I'm just tired of people, problems, distant relationship, unseen friends, forced smiles, conspiracy agendas, pretty faces, political correctness, new insights of psychology, self-awareness, socialism, mental slavery, poverty, neighbors who pretend they care, fake understandings, artificial empathy, culture domination, generated emotions, and all the shitty stupid standard things called masks worn and stamped by most of the two-legged population ever walk on the face of this earth from sunup to sundown to sunup again, and all of these disgusting infinitum.

Thus...
Say 'Hallelujah' or 'Alhamdulillah' or even kiss the ground where you set feet upon and thank the most supreme power somewhere, because with this so-called notification I'll be gone. I'm sure it will make the world a better place to live in for everybody because there is one less grudge, grumpy, insecure girl around to shake you up with her fucked up, unsystematically put, deluding logics and pretend to be cool in doing that. As God is my witness, I swear, I'm over with my one fuckin' unfinished task that shuts its door (and mine as well) to get to know another soul. And let's see how long I could recover. Or call it hiatus if you like. I need to gather up my strength for a while to be back on my feet and soaring on my wings again to fight the demons within.

To Oki: Gwa nggak akan nyerah karena gwa adalah Bisma dengan Baratayudha-nya sendiri.