20191019 - Confession

Credit by the artist. I don't own the copyright.

Forgive me Mother for I have sinned. Forgive my standoffish nature and take things lightly, that I thought I had everything under control. Forgive me for falling so fucking hard and reached my rock bottom. Forgive my eight hours of the BIGGEST sadness in my life, that I didn't put myself first in my own frame.

Forgive me for sleeping the whole ride home and continued sleeping for 12-hour straight because this pain won't subside, my suffering was inevitable, and the hurt was so deep. Forgive me for being so reckless, for being so lulled by my own wishful thinking that the world revolves around me, that things could go my way, that if I could understand people then I could bend people under my will.

Well, turned out that what I faced was not even people. I didn't know how to put it, but I don't think a decent human being could do something so hurtful and so ignorant. I should've learned my lesson that humans are basically evil. It's their choice not to be assholes, and more often than not, it's easier being one.

Forgive me Mother for I have sinned. But this sin had marked me red. This sin had made me stronger than ever. Give me Your blessings and I will kill 'em all... With kindness as a revenge.


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