Because nobody rules over my thoughts. Live with it.
Posted by The Bitch on 11/12/2007 02:58:00 AMHer : Hi Nduk! *hugs*
Me : Halow, Mbak! Long time no see... Where have you been?! *double hugs*
Her : My fav online sistha as always... *winks*
Her : Well, I've been around lately. Wuzup? Doing OK?
Me : So-so. Still happy w/ my jojoba-ing and hardly social life in any kind *giggles then sobs* How boutcha?
Her : So-so juga. Masih biru-biru ni. Damn!
Me : Owalah... Again?! It's been like... almost three years! How come?
Her : Dunno. I just miss him so much *sighs*
Me : Aw, c'mon! Dontcha dare gimme dat crap! It's been more than two godamn years and you move far away 2 the end of the fuckin' world and you still feel blue?! Go get another dildo with ears for yourself and all things will be just fine
Her : Can't do, Kiddo. He was more than meets the eyes. And those invisibles are the ones I seek and couldn't find in any soul. Entirely. You think that I'd never find another? I've tried some bouncer, ya know. But nobody as open and humble as he was
Me : Bullshit! You just live in your past and dun wanna move on since he was the one whom--YOU THOUGHT--accept you for whoever and whatever you are
Her : P'haps. Still, I longed for his touch, his kiss, his smile. The way his eyes sparkled when he saw me sitting there and thought I didn't notice. The way he sang me a ridiculous song and felt like he was a great singer, just to make me laugh. The way he held my hands when we walked home in the rain and missing the last bus from the movie and how he tried to soothe me...
Me : Mbak... c'mon! I bet it's just your period and all, nothin' serious. Dun be such a bullshit-romantic-fool-crap! He's not all that! It's only your hormone. I know it's the date, isn't it?
Her : Damn rite it is! But, to tell you the truth, Sistha, he is. He was, and he's always be
Me : I thought I'd heard good news, seeing you online and all
Her : Sorry... I guess just like u've said once. I'm strong on the surface, not all the way through
Me : Would you two made up when there's a slight chance to do so?
Her : Nope. Ya know it's impossible for both of us. That's why he avoided seeing me, tho it's only a sheer friendly gathering. It's just a feeling of lost and grief dat I enjoy so much, losing him. To feel there's this hollow in my chest that is irreplacable... I always thought it'll be dissappeared one way or another, with all the people I've met everyday and guys I fucked once in a while... but it won't. In a bizzare way, I feel alive. I feel more human
Me : You're nuts, u know dat?
Her : Haha! It takes one to know one, Sweetie *smooches*
Me : Yucks! Gross!
Her : Hey! I smooch you! Not tounge-fucking your dirty, lousy mouth!
Me : Still! You kiss me with a pair of lips dat once engulfed his prick!
Her : Haha! You lil Bitch! Your foul-mouthed exclamation is always amusing
Me : Your very fuckin' welcome, Mbak *hugs*
Her : Don't get bored with my curhat ya, Nduk
Me : I won't. It makes me grateful for the life dat I have so far, not being a dick-hungry slut like yours FOR THREE FUCKIN' YEARS!
Her : I love you
Me : I love you more. Dat's why I hate seeing you like this. But you won't leave the memory behind. It's like a knife cuts deep on the cheek, ya know. The hurt stings, the wound is there, the blood drips from the sliced-open flesh, but you can't see it. You only feel it. It sucks
Her : I know. It's stupid. But I can't help it
Me : Stop slicing your cheek, then. Let go, Mbak. Let go
Her : Teach me
Me : You know I can't. I'm kinda in to similar situation myself *grins*
Her : Haha! Look who's talking now!
Me : Yeah. Wanna join the club?
Her : You bet I will
... and we don't live happily ever after since we haven't found what we're looking for...
Labels: The Sin