"Fuck!" Say I

Because nobody rules over my thoughts. Live with it.

English Club: Week 4

Posted by The Bitch on 3/28/2009 06:10:00 AM

Since there was only one student attending her class this week, The Bitch Teacher only taught him to read and made some ideas came to his mind. Some of which was auto-felatio. He also said that he loves religious movie, with a lot of God’s name cried out loud. You figure that out yourself what it means *evilgrins*.

Here are the material that we have learned tonight (yes, the schedule said 4pm onward and the class started at half past seven since The Bitch Teacher got up at ten minutes past four. Isn’t that hilarious?). Below is the continuation story from the Ghost of Canterville Chapter I. We also learned about Passive Voice (in which the examples been given by none other than the BHI Minister of Treasury, Mr. Muhammad Syaifulloh, the slimiest Minister worldwide).

The Canterville Ghost
Chapter II

There was a horrible storm that night, but apart from that nothing scary happened. The next morning, however, when the family came down to breakfast, they found the terrible stain of blood once again on the floor. Washington cleaned it a second time, but the second morning it appeared again. The third morning it was there, too, although the library had been locked up at night by Mr. Otis himself.

The following night, all doubts about the existence of the ghost were finally removed forever. At eleven o’clock the family went to bed and some time after, Mr. Otis was awakened by a strange noise in the corridor, outside his room. It sounded like the clank of metal, and it came nearer every moment. Mr. Otis got up and looked at the time. It was exactly one o’clock. So Mr. Otis put on his slippers, went to the door and opened it. There, right in front of him, stood the ghost - his eyes were as red as burning coals; long grey hair fell over his shoulders and from his wrists and ankles hung heavy chains.

“My dear Sir,” said Mr. Otis, “you must oil those chains. It’s impossible to sleep with such a noise going on outside the bedrooms. I have therefore brought you this bottle of lubricator, and I will be happy to supply you with more if you require it.” With these words, Mr. Otis laid the bottle down, closed his door and went back to bed.

Shocked, the Canterville ghost stood quite motionless for a moment, but then he growled angrily. Just at this moment, the twins appeared on the corridor and threw a large pillow at him! The ghost hastily escaped through the wall, and the house became quiet again.

When the ghost reached his small secret chamber, he took a deep breath. No ghosts in history had ever been treated in this manner!

[To be continued to Chapter III next week]

Assessment:
Indicating each sentence and/or phrase in the story. And you know what? The Minister did it splendidly!

And here is the theory (-shitory) we learned:

Passive Voice:
To be
(am/is/are, was/were) + V-II

- A bottle of vodka was drank by me this afternoon.

- My boner was stood by someone, or, in other words, dicoliin (this is the example from Maz Ipul. The Teacher did not make it up! Honest!)

In this pattern, the subject and object are switched. It means that the subject in Active that generally positioned at the front is switched with the Object located at the back of the sentence. But both Subject and Object could also stay where they belong, only the conjunction (or ‘bridge’ to connect between words and make it into sentences or phrases or anything in between) move. Confuse? Here comes the comprehension:

Example:
- Active: Bahtiar milks his wife almost every night.
- Passive: She was milked by her husband.

As you see, the subject becomes object and vice versa.

- Active: I sepong myself.
- Passive: I was seponged by myself (remember the auto-felatio? Here it is).

From the example above, the subject and object stay where they are but the conjunction (or whatever they call it) changes.

Function:
- Nothing but to screw the mind of the non-English speaker. Oh, and adding special tone in the writings. It sounds more dramatic, don’t you think?

Though it was only one student (and one ’shadow’ since he was not joining the class but asking gibberish, unimportant things in the mean time), The Bitch Teacher and her student had fun together, especially when the Lady Minister decided to join after working in her Saturday. She made The Lady repeating the ’sh’ sound as in ‘washing’ over and over again and it was amusing! Hee hee.

Well, we’re going to have listening next week from a footage that The Bitch found quite suitable for her fucked-up class, something closer to the ‘religious’ movie said by The Minister. Interesting. Very interesting, indeed. Too bad The Minister and The Lady could not join the class for two weeks because they are going to have their third wedding party (yes, THIRD! Your eyes don’t play you shit!). And what makes The Teacher wonder is that they will marry each other once again. If she were them, she’ll change her spouse for sure.

Questions, anyone?

ps: Found smiling faces, friendly welcome, and a neat rest room to shit after one heartpounding, spooky angkot ride whose driver is hallucinating that he was driving in one of those races in Sentul is always pleasant. Especially when follows by one, terrific MJ, vodka with orange juice, and wonderful stories of good ol’days. The Bitch Teacher couldn’t ask for more for her Saturday night… (=

Let this joyful weekend be like this for all of her life!!!

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