... And I'm Moving On...

Words adjusted from Serenity Prayer, the strongest mantra I've ever encountered   

So, how do you see yourself when you've been forcefully yet consciously uprooted from the "home" you've known for the past five years? It's strange. But you need it the most--eventually--to save yourself from the stupid, monotonous insanity.

I've been--just like any other person living and breathing--on a rollercoaster ride of emotions, while staying in another city, in another island. It's an overwhelming package full of new people from the uncharted waters that I've never known existed. Many times that all I could do was just inhale deeply. But it's all fun and games. Somehow.  

I pulled myself together and picking up the pieces that I have left in my attempt to emerge from the blinding darkness while trying to taking in so much more. It's been so cold and dark down there, but my furry angels--the ones I thought I've rescued but in the end rescuing me instead--luckily, had given me courage and will to live another day.

I hold the grudge for the "home" that I thought I had. The home who provided me with heaps of what I needed, the home I turned to when all the world seemed to be against me, the home I took the sense of sanctuary from, and the home where lust and love and passion were mingled together--the things I thought I'm lacked of. Yet, like all the good times and bad, it has to end. So, I'm moving on.

I projected the home that I've lost to those I had met along the way. Sometimes it's there, more often it's not. But just like any other things that life has to offer, I just have to take it in and carry on. The fool will swear it off and trying to forget, the wise will take a lesson, and the ignorant--me--will just become numb and hope that someday it will be a great memory to be put into words. But I learn to just pick up from here and there, choosing what's suitable and feasible, throwing those that are not.     

It's been a tight enclosure, where I was from. A place where sadness was denied and happiness was pretended. I'll begin another journey to another place, another island, and a lot of new people, new heads to collect to be displayed in the museum of my mind. It's kind of bizarre when you think you put what you're aspire to in the back of your mind and one day it pops out quite unexpectedly. It's a mix between frightening and exciting, prepared/unprepared, the "fuck it, I can do this" and lots of what-if's. 

This is a monument, a milestone for me to ceaselessly reach higher and dive deeper. 

For my old "home": you'll be remembered with the biggest smile on my face, that what we had was just another journey into our own soul, with the hope that this, too, shall pass. 

For the "home" I bounced back from: you'll be fine once you make peace with yourself, and I'll be waiting on the other side if our paths crossed again somehow and the deal is still on.

And for the "shelter" I took security from: please never stop being nice and choose wisely between the crossroads you've been thrown at.

Cheers to this weird existence where we're basically nothing but insignificant yet destructive beings on the face of the Planet. Cheers to this lonely path called life that we couldn't escape from. Cheers to what may come and what we've left behind.

I'm moving on...