"Fuck!" Say I

We are not tough enough to live on truth alone and we don't need to be - Opening song for Bleach 20* by Veronica Dua perempuan, dua generasi, terhubung oleh garis yang menjadikan mereka anak dan ibu, murid dan guru, dicinta dan mencinta. Dua perempuan menggugat hak bernafas di bumi selama hampir empat belas tahun. Mereka ada disana sekarang, dalam ruang kamar ukuran empat kali lima yang menyublim menjadi dunia milik mereka. Dua jiwa, dua benak, yang dulunya sempat ada dalam satu badan. Perempuan kecil itu memegang sebuah buku terbuka berwarna hijau pada gemetar tangan kiri. Matanya menatap jalang minta penjelasan di sepasang danau teduh yang pertama dia cari ketika lutut atau hatinya terluka. Ibunya memandangi buku dan wajah si anak berganti-ganti kemudian menggandeng tangan sang putri untuk turut duduk bersisian di bibir ranjang. "Kenapa bisa begini, Bu?" Pada ruang dan waktu itu nafas terasa berat dihela hingga membuat dada sesak meskipun angin lembut meniup tirai jende...

Pernah kau bayangkan ada hidup yang tidak sekedar bernafas? Ada gerak yang tidak hanya maju? Geletar yang tidak gemetar? Suara yang bukan hanya bunyi? Rasa yang tidak perlu bernama? Aku pernah merasakannya. Bersamamu. Dulu sekali. Tapi satu hal: Jiwa tidak harus tersia-sia hanya untuk yang silam. Kutukan tidak cuma tertera pada nganga yang kutorehkan sendiri di luka-luka kita. Karena manusia lahir ke dunia membawa aib masing-masing seperti Kryptonite menggentarkan Clark Kent meski kuasanya kerap menyelamatkan Amerika dari monster berwujud manusia. Kamu selalu tau bahwa suaramu mampu meloloskan semua belulang dari persendian meski aku bebas osteoporosis. Kemarin hingga sekarang. Kamu juga lebih dari paham bahwa yang datang akan pergi namun kita tak terganti. Ya, kita sejiwa tapi tidak untuk bersama. Menyedihkan? Tidak! Kita tidak diciptakan untuk masa depan, tidak dibiakkan untuk saling menyakiti. Jadi, jangan pernah ketakutan itu hinggap pada hati. Kita telah belajar banyak, telah sama...

Since there was only one student attending her class this week, The Bitch Teacher only taught him to read and made some ideas came to his mind. Some of which was auto-felatio. He also said that he loves religious movie, with a lot of God’s name cried out loud. You figure that out yourself what it means *evilgrins*. Here are the material that we have learned tonight (yes, the schedule said 4pm onward and the class started at half past seven since The Bitch Teacher got up at ten minutes past four. Isn’t that hilarious?). Below is the continuation story from the Ghost of Canterville Chapter I. We also learned about Passive Voice (in which the examples been given by none other than the BHI Minister of Treasury, Mr. Muhammad Syaifulloh, the slimiest Minister worldwide). The Canterville Ghost Chapter II There was a horrible storm that night, but apart from that nothing scary happened. The next morning, however, when the family came down to breakfast, they found the terrible stain of blood ...

As always happened in these past two weeks, The Bitch Teacher woke up late on one breezy Saturday afternoon because she just had her portion of night-sleep when the clock said 9am. Not an unusual thing to do on weekends, though. Yet, it was, since she had a class to teach. Oh well, enough with her fucked-up biorhytm and let’s start the material for the third week. Since the Structure was quite brain-squeezing, we could only rummage on one Tense as follows: 5. Present Perfect Simple S + have/has + V III - He has spoken. S + have/has + not + V III - He has not spoken. Have/has + S + V III + ? - Has he spoken? Function: * Putting emphasis on the result - The landlady has ruined my mood to do quickie . * Action that is still going on - She has came two times and needs some more. * Action that stopped recently - I have given up on your limp dick! * Finished action that has an influence on the present - Omigod ! He has gotten hung ! * Action that has taken place once, never or se...

After having a great time in our first meeting, we continued the fun on the second. Here are the material we’d learned in our 2nd week meeting: 3. Simple Past Tense Subject + V-ed - Last night my husband gave me hickeys Subject + did + not + verb - Last night my husband didn’t give me hickeys Did + subject + verb + object + ? - Did your husband give you hickeys last night? Function: * Stating action in the past taking place once, never or several times - We never fucked though we had been together for five years (ngapain aja?!). * Stating actions taking place one after another - He loved to suck my lower lip after having one mindblowing lovemaking session. * Stating action taking place in the middle of another action - He came in, unzipped his pants and banged her brain out. * Stating action in the past taking place in the middle of another action - When I was having her for breakfast, the phone suddenly rang. * ‘If’ sentences type II (If I talked, …) - If I had a lot of mone...

As my account suspended and I've got no one to blame upon, here is the repost of what the BHI English Club had learned so far. I don't do this for my students' sake. I do this for me, for the joy of keeping the record of what I've got in store to poison people's mind. But everyone's invited! (= Below is the summary of what we have learned in our first class, 14 February 2009. 1. Simple Present Tense Subject + Verb - He goes to the English Club. Subject + do/does + not + Verb - I do not go to the English Club. Do/does + subject + Verb + ? - Does she go to the English Club? Verb Function: * Stating the action that happens in the present (d’oh) - I bully everybody with this summarized material. * Stating the fact - The sun rises every morning just like my urge to smack everyone in the face. * Stating what one capable of - Suprie drives motorcycle just like Yudi swims. One of these days. * Stating one’s activities - I go to School for Bitches and Bastards and...

Hari ini saya mendapat dua berita gembira dari dua orang lelaki baik sekaligus sahabat baik: Pernikahan. Tiga tahun sejak terakhir kami bertemu, My Phoenix Brotha #1 menyusul My Phoenix Brotha #2—yang sekarang sudah dikaruniai seorang bayi lucu—ke pelaminan Juli nanti. Pacaran fucked-up dengan mbak pramugari (yang dengan bangga dia ceritakan sebagai ‘Mbakmu kui lho Nduk…’), berbuah rencana membentang layar untuk biduk rumahtangga mereka nanti setelah bertahun-tahun cinta dirajut. I couldn’t ask for more, Bro. Sooo damned happy for ya! (= Yang kedua adalah Singa Berkeringat (karena mengaku seorang Leon padahal aslinya Aquarian) yang akan mengucap janji suci bulan Mei nanti. Saya baru mengenalnya sebulan ini setelah ‘permainan’ akhirnya berujung. Dan dia mengundang saya sebagai penghormatan terhadap seorang teman yang senang hati ikut ‘bermain’. Isn’t he sweet? Saya pribadi nggak ngurus masalah pernikahan karena hidup saya adalah hari ini. Saya nggak mau punya anak karena mereka akan sel...

1. Put your music on shuffle. 2. For each question, press the next button to get your answer. 3. YOU MUST WRITE THAT SONG NAME DOWN NO MATTER HOW SILLY IT SOUNDS! Here we go... 1. If someone says "is this okay" you say? Wicked - Symphony X (gwa ditawarin apa emang ya?) 2. What would best describe your personality? Caught Up In Your World - Harem Scarem (Errr...) 3. What do you like in a guy/girl? Let's Get Ourselves Together - Santana (Hah?! HAH?! HAH?! ) 4. How do you feel today? Agoraphobia - Incubus (Huahahahahahahahahaha!!!) 5. What is your Motto? Hunting High and Low - Stratovarius (I wonder bakal ada yang kesindir nggak ya? Hmmm...) 6. What is your life's purpose? Intro Jam - Black Label Society (BENER BANGET!!! Urip mung sediluk, mari kita bersenang-senang dan belajar bersama!) 7. What do your friends think of you? Burning My Soul - Dream Theater (Hihihihi... Ya maabh!) 8. What do you think about very often? Comfort Eagle - Cake (Jadi inget jawaban #5...) 9. Wh...

Shit! Ternyata saya kangen nyampah di rumah saya. Padahal baru sehari, tapi rasanya banyak banget karat otak yang bertumpuk sampai ke ubun-ubun. Masalah kerjaan, social life (IF i got any *sigh*), kegatalan saya gara-gara baca posting orang yang rasanya pengen banget bikin posting bantahan di tempat komeng, macem-macem. Bener tuh, you never know what you've got till it's gone. Jadi, yah... sementara dengerin Om Bono nyanyi, nyantai-nyantai aja dulu. Why so serious? In a little while Surely you'll be mine In a little while I'll be there In a little while This hurt will hurt no more I'll be home, love!