Day 6 - F I G H T
Sehari lagi, Pit. Tahan sehari lagi.
I was in that place again, where everything was bleak and dark and the ground under my feet was shifting and all I could feel was confusion and anger and sadness and they're all squeezing me tight to the point that I threw up. No, it wasn't depression. It's just a path that leads to it.
Where I am today is the place that I've chosen with my common sense, voluntarily, under no influence in whatsoever. It's a much too quiet place where at nights you could only hear crickets or the loud, bugle sound of cranes flying by.
But there are things bothering me, things beyond my control, things from outside my world where I'm sitting and typing this, things that affect my brain, things that get me finished a litre of maturely fermented tuak under ten minutes, things that make me sob quietly, uncontrollably, while listening to that song on loop for hours, alone, the things that not even a "sabar ya..." could help.
No, I'm not okay. Yes, I cried. I hurt. It sometimes unbearable, but I still got to live. My work is not done here. So, hold on.
PS. To the soul who read this and feeling the same: I'm with you. We're not alone.