"Fuck!" Say I

Because nobody rules over my thoughts. Live with it.

Calling All Soulmates

Posted by The Bitch on 12/21/2007 12:26:00 PM

Dear all,

I know I messed you up with my text messages, in the wee hour of the nights, asking a minute--turned hours--of your precious time just to babble the most unimportant things in this whole universe (and you're there all along). I know you couldn't stand the presence of quiet me around for so long when I feel lonely (and you just keep silent). I understand you are all fed up because of my unstoppable nag about how the world contradicts me (and still you listened). You respect the wall I build around myself when I need to be alone (and wait patiently for the hell break loose). I know that I sometimes bossed around and asking the almost impossible missions on behalf of my selfish demands (and you did them perfectly). I sometimes pissed you off when I remind you, over and over and over, about the simplest and most basic deeds to yourselves (and said 'yes' to shut me up). You frowned when I said something ridiculous about the girls you want to score (and uttered not a word of it). I know I've been a self-centered ego-maniac by diminishing myself inside a four-by-four windowed-box and turned my cell-phone off for few days and changed you from worry to anger to helpless sigh (and still have cold shoulders anytime I need them). I know you're mad when I sensed something wrong and you don't want me to know and I annoyingly stamped you with big question marks from all over my face (and answer them eventually). I can't help it.

Look,
I am deeply sorry for my disability in finding one, single man to meet the needs of what you all provide. I truly am. I look for the man who has personality disorder to balance mine while there is no one left to handle me since they're all die (because of the unbearable stress) or in insane asylums or undetected yet. Besides, I've got you all, I need no other. In your most fucked up appearance you'll always be radiant angels with great wings, comforting smiles and understanding eyes though you firmly hold blood-stained spears and spiky whips to teach me lessons. I was born with shattered soul, and only a piece of it left inside this heart-shaped box. Perhaps each of you had involuntarily grabbed the remains that will make it complete like a picture in the puzzle. Forgive me.

I'd love to see you fly, soaring in the sky freely like Icarus reaching the sun with modified pair of wings so they won't melt because of the heat. One of you had done it on November 5 by marrying a woman I didn't know, and still you're a certified soulmate, proven and tested. You, who taught me how to give and let go, to accept without complaining, and to live the life to the fullest. I couldn't ask for more.

Please, let me make this clear: I love you all. Don't die too soon. I might need you again.

Terinspirasi dari Bleach yang saya tonton marathon hampir 24 jam di ruang server Diknas bareng para penunggunya yang wira-wiri nggak puguh tapi baik-baik. Jangan bosen ya...

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