"Fuck!" Say I

Because nobody rules over my thoughts. Live with it.

Yeah, Rite...

Posted by The Bitch on 2/24/2006 08:06:00 PM

Eating, sleeping, working. Almost the same with life-cycle. Minus mating, of course. Just a self-satisfaction, if you insist on having the similar feeling of mating. In other words: playing with the most intimate body parts of yours. *winks with devilish grin*


This is ridiculous. Eating, sleeping, working. And I'm dying. You don't think it's possible, do you? But, well... that's the fact! Stupid but true. And THAT'S the saddest part of it!

Sinking Down Low to Reach for the Star High Above... (NJRIT!!!)

Posted by The Bitch on 2/24/2006 01:20:00 AM

Jeez! I'm in Jakarta: the most-hated city ever! I just can't believe that I'm already here though it's been two days since my arrival. Well, then. Things have to be changed sometimes. I just try to think out of the box. Gotta accept the changes that need to be changed. Gotta face the truth, how miserable it would become. In the end, there is this one thing that has to be kept: gotta live and survive.

I never thought it would turn out to be like this. Working here, while my main objective in life is burried inside Jogja soil. But just like one of my Hell Angels said, people need to get out of their comfort zone and taking the risk. To feel alive. To wriggle from the needle hole and make out to the other side. To find newness in the universe without even thinking about the outcome. Literally go with the flow. That is exactly what I do now.

Remember my OTHER main objective in life about die in the age of thirty? I think I'm dying...

Ummm... Errrr... Apa Yah? Apa Sih? Gak Tau Ah!

Posted by The Bitch on 2/17/2006 05:39:00 AM

Awal nggak sengaja yang bikin gwa menikmati berdekat-dekat dengan lawan jenis... *ehm!*
Waktu itu gwa harus ngelantik adik kelas di ekskul PA. Karena capek, kehujanan dan harus bikin bivak darurat, akhirnya gwa dipaksa tidur umpel-umpelan bareng anak-anak cowok yang jumlahnya lebih banyak. Bukan apa-apa, daripada kena hipotermia (gak tau ni nulisnya bener apa nggak), mendingan gwa dihangatkan dengan body heat sebanyak-banyaknya. Begitu pagi datang, gwa kaget bukan kepalang: penyangga kepala gwa semaleman itu adalah dada adek kelas yang ngaujubilleh gantengnya dan disenengin hampir semua cewek di sekolah! Lumayan... rejeki, pikir gwa. Apalagi setelah itu kedekatan berlanjut meski gwa harus nge-cut karena ada intrik-intrik yang nadjeez pisan dan gak bisa dituliskan disini *hayah!*

Lalu ketika kuliah sering bermotor berdua dan kehujanan di tengah jalan dengan temen--lagi-lagi--cowok. Meskipun dalam kesempatan dan orang yang berbeda, rasanya tetep sama. Meskipun hanya duduk bersisian dan pundak bersinggungan tanpa harus saling rangkul, rasanya nyaman, hangat, tenang. Hal-hal seperti itu memang masih bisa ditemukan pada teman sesama perempuan, tapi sensasinya tetep beda. Mungkin karena berlainan jenis kali yah?

Lalu ketika gwa punya pacar. Iya, nggak usah melongo heran begitu! Gini-gini gwa pernah pacaran, cuk! *dezigh!* Waktu itu emang baru pertama kalinya gwa punya hubungan serius ama cowok. Gak tau kenapa kita berdua bisa nge-klik, meski semua sifat kami saling bertolak belakang. Menurut gwa, dia satu-satunya cowok yang cukup gila karena mau pacaran ama gwa. Seringnya, si mantan pacar itu sering dipertanyakan orientasi seksualnya ama temen-temen yang lain karena mau-maunya pacaran ama cewek yang ga jelas kecewekannya macem gwa ini. Banyak yang gak nyangka kalo kami pasangan. Abis, wong gayanya emang cuek-cuekan gitu koq. Tapi kalo pas kami sendirian... hal yang paling menyenangkan dan menenangkan adalah pelukannya. Menghilangkan semua masalah. Menjernihkan pikiran. Menambal keropongnya hati. menyembuhkan luka batin. Surga dunia yang dimampatkan dalam satu tindakan sederhana. No more, no less. Dan itu saja sudah cukup bagi kami. Meskipun hanya satu pelukan.

Sekarang, ketika gwa jomblo begini dan teman-teman terdekat yang amat sangat gwa respek pergi satu demi satu, gwa rindu kedekatan itu. Dan beberapa jam yang lalu gwa nonton bareng si jarang mandi, bau dan dekil. Tapi entah kenapa aroma gebleknya itu bikin memori primitif yang melekat di otak gwa yang paling belakang kembali membayang jelas. Dan... ya. Gwa butuh pelukan.

Hix... )=

Dosakah menulis seperti ini? Salahkah kalo gwa meneriakkan ke seluruh dunia tentang kekangenan gwa pada mantan pacar? BAH!

%$##!*!&^@%!!!

When Things Don't Go Your Way...

Posted by The Bitch on 2/16/2006 01:31:00 AM

All you've gotta do is do what you have to do. Since you're not the centre of the universe, the world doesn't turn around with you as the axis.

So... I'm just trying to do what I have to do. With all my strength and faith that I have left. Because life is only a journey, not a destination. Yet, the destination has its own journey. We've armed by the spirit, armored by the faith and surrounded by the wisdom. Those are our ammunition to conquer the future.

I believe I'm not only going to seize the day, but also the whole life!

[So help me, GOD!]


*note: all gratitude goes to Loki van Purworejo that had given me a nice quotation (=

Me Playing Linkin Park - NUMB #2

Posted by The Bitch on 2/15/2006 07:11:00 AM

"Kamu yakin mau maju dan menyelesaikan semuanya?"

"Yup!"

"Mantap dengan itu?"

"Definitely."

"Penuntasanmu seperti ini nanti bukan karena omonganku semalam?"

"Ah! Kamu GR sekali! Sangkamu aku nggak punya pendapat sendiri sampai aku perlu kamu untuk memutuskan mana yang terbaik bagi hidupku?"

"Oke. Well, then. Be it. Majulah, adikku. Laksanakan ucapanmu. Wujudkan dalam tindakan. Kamu bukan orang yang suka berjanji palsu macam politisi, bukan?"

"Course not, you silly dumbass! Kulo pamit lan mboten nganti pejah. Mohon doanya aja biar impact-nya nanti hanya sampai babak tanpa bundas ketika pergi dan kembali..."

"Kau selalu dalam doa kami. Tenangkan amarah dan jiwamu. May The Force Always Be With You!" *Hayah! Star Wars sekaleee!!!*

... and though I walk in the valley of death and darkness...


*Note: hey! bahasa endonesahmu bagus sekali, Nduk!

Me Playing Linkin Park - NUMB

Posted by The Bitch on 2/15/2006 06:52:00 AM

"Karena jomblo maka nggak ada tuntutan feminin ya?"

"Haha! D'ya think so?"

As he said: An addict of chaos theories, I am.
As she said, simply: Nuts.

As I SAY: ................................................................................


Damn! Jez dunno wut 2 say or do. I gratefullycursed feeling nothing. I've been blessed that all of my senses had been deprived. Blank. Nothing. Zero.

Ah, rambut gwa keren sekali! Sepatu baru gwa juga!






[In memoriam of these five years, with all bruises and scratches that I've been savored each day... greedily and absentmindedly]

p.s: edan! bikin entri kek gini aje perlu sebulan! dasar chicken!!!